Player's Guild Review Guideline's Guide's Cheat's Porper to Prince

 

Saturday 23rd September 2000

 

            Good news people!  The monkey has become the master as I have found the Tales of the Sword Coast disk plus a computer that can run it without trying to blow itself up!  I decided that I would like a change of scenery from the constant irritating cries of the flaming fist (I AM the law!) and I headed off to the peaceful secluded Ulgoth’s Beard for a short holiday.  I was met by a very VERY pissed off Shandalar (I killed his three daughters on a mission in Baldur’s Gate) and the moody old git teleported me to a frosty island.  I was then attacked by a lot of mage's with tin openers trying to open up my full plate mail armour and shove a fireball wear the sun don’t shine.  Fortunately I delt with them swiftly with my Ranger finesse and recovered his cloak to send me home. I tried to kill him but after two attempts, both of which I died a horrible fiery death, ( no doubt while performing an act of unspeakable cowardice – webmaster ), so I just gave the arsewipe his cloak back. 

I wandered off still muttering under my breath to Durlag’s tower where I immediately headed up dealing with ghosts/ghasts/ghouls etc on the way.  When I reached the top, I was told by my friend Kyle ( just to clear up any confusion he isnt in the game - webmaster ) that I had to go straight back down again, dealing with the same things but in reverse order plus a nymph (whose weapon I “nicked”, heh heh heh) and I started solving the warder puzzle.  I’ve fought them twice but they are a lot more resilient than I expected so I’m going to recover myself and FIGHT BACK!  You’ll never believe what nice things I found to eat in my brother’s hair.